Tuesday, January 27, 2004

» The Dr. J sex tape.

Julius Erving, aka Dr. J, one of the best basketball players to ever grace the the presence of the Philadelphia 76ers, LOVES TO FUCK CHICKS ON TAPE!

I'm so damn gald another celebrity sex tape has been released, mostly because I'm sick of hearing about that tall skinny lamp-pole shaped blonde whorebag aka Paris Hilton.

Anyone who makes home porno is cool. Anyone who makes horrible home pornos (like Dick Solomon and Paris Hilton) should be shot in the face with salt guns, sliced with rusty razors, and forced to gargle ammonia while they have cold sores. On the other hand, anyone that makes a sex tape and gives it to their wife - is a douchebag.

Before asking why this cat (Dr. J) would marry someone named after Crayola item number 02487-1 52-0033-048, let's get to the point:

    Guys, if you ever made a sex tape with a chick other than your exclusive hag (wife) or temporary piece of ass (POA), should you ever, EVER, EVER give the tape to the chick your with? NO.

    Girls, should you ever, EVER, EVER know about the sex tape your man made with a girl who's probably hotter, less whiny, and most likely...performs oral better? Definitely not.

To make things worse, Dr. J's stupid cunt Crayola victim hag is raping Dr. J for all his dunkola. I swear to God, if you're reading this right now and you're married, and the slut gets half of your shit when you divorce - shoot yourself in the face and paint the walls with your brain because you're a fucking pussywhipped assclown. No woman of mine will get my stuff/money, I wouldn't even defecate in a brown bag and light it on fire for an ex.  Dr. J has to pay that 53 year old shitbag a ton of money each month. It'll let you know that women are the devil and guys who let this happen to them deserve it for being such an idiot.




Monday, January 26, 2004

shes NOT a milf

» Krime is....YOUR MOM!

Eminem's slutty little mummy got carjacky-ed today, goo goo ga ga. That's fucking awesome! Hats and visors off to the teenage dirtbag that gripped her up and drug her around like a high school cheerleader. Fucking bitch has 80's hair, she deserves to get smacked around a little. Don't middleaged women know any fucking better? Obviously not. Hell, does anyone even care that his whore mother was carjacked? No. Next topic please.

» Diesel blowjob service.

Vin Diesel should be beaten like the red headed step child of two gay dads. Seriously, who's dick did this chump suck to get into Hollywood? Probably more than 36. I hate this douchebag more than I hate the fact that like five years ago I purchased the Michael Jackson double disc. Well that joke went horribly wrong; I just paid for your kids to be molested by an alien. Next.

» Back to Feminem.

G-Unit kicks ass. I'm gonna try out for the team this week so I can get my own G-Unit sneakers and condoms. Well, I don't know if my white weener can fit in the horse condoms if you know what I'm saying. Here's the rap I wrote to try out for the G-Unit. It's a one verse remix of a famous song:

check out the song and videos on twelvefifteen.com

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