Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Does anyone ever wonder why some black guys like fat white blondes? I do. Fat white blondes aren't hot, so what's the attraction? I tried to ask some guy on the subway the other night, but he just looked at me funny and called me a bitch. I sad sorry bro, I just wanna know why the fuck you guys like fat white chicks, and he said "what bitch?" And I asked the question again, but this time I put my hands in my pockets - you know, I don't want my fucking wallet stolen, I got high school prom pictures in there that remind me when I was seventeen and could fuck sixteen year old sluts with braces - that shit is precious. Anyway, this huge black guy approaches me on the subway. At that point I got a little nervous because I thought he was gonna smoke me like them motherfuckers on the corner that got jacked for loosing a bet over a dice game. But, to much disappointment, the overgrown bear simply got off the sub. He kept staring at me though, like he was in prison and I was a hot piece of ass that just came in over some white collar crime...like stealing all the copy machines from the office and putting them on ebay. No matter what, I survived what I thought was going to be a racially profiled beating to my early dismay - but I never got my answer. So...

full story at twelvefifteen.com

Monday, December 29, 2003

Here's a few contests to have with useless animals:

Place gerbils in a potato gun. Shoot at a wall. Biggest splat wins.
Shot put rabbits by their ears. Farthest throw wins. Hopefully the rabbit dies, because rabbits fucking suck.
Set anoles loose in traffic. If your little lizard makes it across the street - you win.
Slingshot hermit crabs into the nearest lake or see if you can skip them like stones.
Punch horses in the nose or spray paint a giant penis on the side of it. I hate horses too.

full story @

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